Wednesday, May 18, 2011

For Ruth

The Pearl in the Oyster: From two, to one...
I've had one experience with grief and loss. April 16th, 2007. That experience was exceptional in that I was grieving along with thousands of others in our town and university, even across the world. It was terrifying, it was huge, it made headlines. For months afterwards, wearing a VT shirt outside of our little corner of the state would prompt inquiries and condolences from strangers. Most people experiencing a loss do not have it this way. They will walk into a restaurant, sit down, and be greeted in the same casual manner as every other diner. The waiter will bring crayons for their child, never knowing that there should be two children. Healthy grief can be stored for later - it does not typically involve public breakdowns. When your baby never really got to come home from the hospital, I'd imagine it would be hard to figure out where your grief belongs. My friend Ruth lost her 3 month old baby yesterday after a long struggle with a congenital heart defect. The way she has handled it, especially in the immediate aftermath, is absolutely amazing to me. I doubt that I would have that much presence of mind. I am also so grateful to her for sharing these moments, which are justifiably private and personal, with all of us "internet friends" who have followed with interest, concern and prayers through Corbin's short life. My heart has been aching for their family, and every time I cry my precious little boy comes up and kisses me, pats my leg, and says "mommy not sad, mommy happy?" My precious, healthy little boy. Thank you, God.


  1. It's astounding to me that someone could be so strong at such a trying time. I know I couldn't do it. I want to grab my kids and hold them tight just reading her post.

  2. Thanks for sharing mama. When you mentioned sitting at a restaurant and the server not knowing there should have been two That hit home...